The room is small.

The walls are painted a sterile white.

A faint, antiseptic scent masks the odor of slow decay that lingers throughout the room.

There you are.

On your hospital bed.

All alone.

You have become diseased and barely holding onto life.

You only have a finite amount of moments left, before you pass on beyond this world.

As the machines hum and the lights flash erratically, you lay on your hospital bed, staring into the bleakness of the ceiling.

Amongst the ebb and flow of clinging to fleeting memories and having mingling thoughts of wonder and fear of the afterlife, there is a quiet voice that soon becomes a droning confrontation.

"Did I live the life I wanted?"

You can't hide.

You have no other choice but to ponder it.

"Did I really live the life I wanted?"

You can't escape it; your body does not react to your desires to hide away from the very fact that you did not live the life you wished for.

You lived mediocrely.

The passion you once had to chase your dreams had fizzled out due to the crushing weight of responsibility and failure that you encountered - and it only got worse as you grew older.

Eventually, you just gave up.

Your dreams had died and your passions had left you.

You didn't live a life of abundance.

You lived a life that was just

Good enough.

And now, you must perish.

Never knowing the great life you could've had.

Never knowing just how great, you could've been.

Alchemist, in this letter we will talk about calcination.

Often the first principle spoken about in Alchemy, it is the beginning of transformation.

In the rawest sense, calcination is the burning away of impurities. 

It is the dissolution of what is unnecessary, so all that remains is the truth.

It's simple -

• Heat something up really hot

• Allow the impurities to rise to the surface

• What remains is the pure essence of the object

If we have an impure alloy of lead and gold, then to extract the gold we must heat up the alloy at a high heat of 327.5°C (621.5°F) until the lead is melted and can be skimmed off.

Through the intense heat, the impurities will rise to the surface, and given that it is now clearly visible, we can easily separate it from what is actually desired.

Personal calcination is no different.

Through the intense heat of our consciousness and our lives, we bring forward dark truths of ourselves that we must accept.

Know that calcination can happen with or without our control.

But as we will learn,

It is much more preferable to be in charge of the process.

A Natural Humbling

Whether you like it or not, personal calcination happens as you naturally progress through life.

As we grow older, we are faced time and time again by the trials and tribulations of life.

• Loss of status

• Loss of beauty

• Loss of wealth

• Decline of health

• Inability to perform

• Uncertainty of safety

• Loss of relationships

• Betrayal from partners

• Death of our loved ones

and as illustrated in the opening of this letter -

• The acceptance of our own mortality.

Both our ego and the image of our perfect life get slowly crushed by the weight of life as we encounter trial after trial, grievance after grievance.

By the time we reach middle age, we have become a shell of our former selves; we have become docile and fearful of what else life has to demolish our spirit.

This is not the personal calcination we want.

This is unconscious calcination, and it will rip your sense of self to shreds if you let it.

What we need instead is a conscious and controlled calcination that allows us to rid of the impurities that do not serve us, leaving only the qualities for a purposeful, driven life behind.

Conscious Self-Calcination

What comprises the impurities that surface?

Where does the darkness arise from?

What fuels the entire process?

The answers we seek lie deep in our minds, rooted within our subconscious.

There are three parts:

1. The Paradigm

2. The Ego

3. The Shadow Material

Let's explore each in depth.

I. The Paradigm

At the root of our being is what is known as the self-paradigm.

Essentially, it is how we see ourselves.

It is the foundation of our identity and influences our very existence.

Our self-paradigm:

• Forms our beliefs

• Forms our attitudes

• Forms our behaviours

• Forms the lens we see others

No two self-paradigms are the same.

Your paradigm will be different from that of your father, mother, neighbour, and friend.

Why is that?

Think of your self-paradigm as a blank canvas.

As you progress through life, each experience, influence, and memory splashes a different colour of paint onto that canvas.

Some areas will be layered with thick paint in bright, vibrant hues.

Other areas will be muted, with the colors barely coming through.

But regardless, it is your canvas.

That is exactly how our self-paradigm is formed - through the constant shaping and painting of life experience onto our internal compass.

There are three* schools of thought regarding how our self-paradigm is formed:

• Genetic determinism:

  • Your genes explain why you are the way you are

  • Your grandparents were illiterate so you are illiterate 

  • Your family has a history of musical talent or athleticism, so you feel your identity is predetermined by those inherited traits

• Psychic determinism:

  • Your childhood upbringing explains why you are the way you are

  • You experience difficulty forming relationships as you unconsciously avoid intimacy due to childhood experiences of rejection or neglect

  • You seek out risky situations due to an unconscious desire to gain approval you never received from a parent.

• Environmental determinism:

  • Your physical, social, and cultural surroundings have shaped the way you are

  • You feel that because you were brought up in a low-income neighborhood, your life will never be the same

  • You feel that your spouse is the reason why your life is miserable

There is no right or wrong answer.

There are countless studies done in each school of research.

I believe the most logical answer is that our self-paradigm is formed from a combination of these deterministic outcomes.

Regardless, each of us has unconsciously established a personal framework for how we are to live our lives — whether it is true or not is irrelevant.

II. The Ego

If the paradigm is the fundamental structure from which our core beliefs and attitudes of the world stem from, then the ego is the energy that reinforces those beliefs, ensuring that our identity is kept alive.

Our ego is not a framework or an established set of principles, rather it is simply energy that our minds use to amplify our self-identity.

Characteristics of ego include:

• Feeling prideful

• Being self-accepting

• Creating desires for what we want and who we want to be

• Protecting our self-image from threats like criticism or rejection

Ego is not inherently bad or good.

It is simply energy.

Where it is directed, it will flow.

If you face life with arrogance and envy, ego will reinforce your position.

But if you face life with a position of fervent self-belief, then ego will shield you during your darkest moments of despair and destitution.

III. The Shadow Material

Finally, we can now talk about impurities.

We introduced the notion of separating the impure material from the pure through the process of calcination.

But what exactly is this impure material when it comes to self-calcinating?

In essence, the impurities, or “dark material", are our unconscious biases, fears, and unexamined beliefs rooted in our self-paradigm.

It is the pieces of our paradigm that negatively skew our attitudes and behaviours towards life, hindering our potential for growth.

Given that they are part of our paradigm, we rarely pay any attention to it.

It is simply part of "who we are".

However, maintaining such a disposition is harmful to the individual and can even be dangerous.

How long the shadow material remains in our subconscious is largely influenced by the ego.

The more deeply rooted our self-paradigm is, the less willing we are to let it go.

It becomes our pride, and our ego will amplify the existence of the shadow material until it is fully integrated into our personality and very being.

It becomes us.

To lose it, would be the equivalent of death.

Ok, so pretty depressing stuff.

We had no control over what shaped us, and to face it would mean the equivalent of death.

Might as well just crawl up in a ball and let fate ragdoll us around.

Right?

If that was the case, I wouldn't be writing this letter.

No, I would be on my couch, watching TV, and stuffing Cinnamon Toast Crunch into my mouth.

I have done that before - and it was a dark and sugary time.

But that isn't the case.

At any point in time, we are able to change the entire trajectory of our lives.

We have the freedom to mold and shape our beings however we please.

Instead of allowing life to humble us, we will ready the cauldron of our consciousness and melt away our impurities.

How?

Through meditation, dear Alchemist.

Fire Up The Forge of Consciousness

What is meditation?

• A practise of mindfulness.

What is the purpose of meditation?

• To train your awareness.

And finally, what is awareness?

• Your ability to separate yourself from situations, thoughts, and emotions.

Most people confine in their paradigm:

"I am the way I am because of X"

• I am angry because of ...

• I am not as smart as him because ...

• I was raised in a poor household so I can't ...

However, meditation allows you to simply say:

"This is separate to me."

There is nothing more powerful than maintaining your sense of self amidst the chaos of both your mind and the world.

By exercising your autonomy, you exercise the truest sense of free will.

So let's learn it.

How to Meditate

In 8 steps, I'll have you meditating like a pro.

1. Have your phone or a timer with you

2. Go to your bed or find a wall/chair

3. Sit up with your back against the bed frame (or wall/chair). You can cross your legs or straighten them - no matter.

4. Set a timer for 5 minutes

5. Close your eyes

6. Inhale slowly from the nose

7. Exhale slowly also from the nose

8. Repeat until the timer ends

Simple, right?

I want you to pay close attention to your nasal breathing.

Really follow the air that travels in and out your nostrils and observe everything - from the sensations, to the individual duration of each breath.

How does the inhale feel? Is the air cool or warm?

How about the exhale? Is it shorter or longer than your inhale?

Your breath at the nose will be our focal point for meditation.

When training our awareness, a focal point is necessary as it anchors our mind to an object, allowing us to return to it if we ever get distracted.

Ok, so you're breathing at the nose.

You're following the inhale.

It feels cool.

You follow the exhale.

It's shorter than the inhale.

You're doing great

Now you inhale aga-

Wait.

Your legs start to hurt a bit.

You’re starting to get thoughts of doubt,

"What if I can't sit for the entire duration?"

You begin to remember a silly memory from years back.

"Oh no, why I did say that back then?"

This cycle will continue to go on,

And on,

And on,

And on, until you come to the realisation -

"Oh wait, I'm supposed to be focusing on my breath."

It is that realisation that you were unfocused on the meditation object that is exactly the point of meditation.

That "Aha!" moment is how you train the skill of awareness.

That is the purpose of meditation.

So when you meditate, do not be afraid to lose focus on your breath.

Simply return to it, and continue focusing.

Be proud if you do.

You are growing.

On Comfortability

If your legs hurt, change the position.

Extend your legs, stretch them, stand up, etc.

Do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable.

Do whatever you need to do to get into a relaxed state.

That way you can truly allow yourself to tap into your subconscious mind.

On Encountering Your Shadow 

Remember how we spoke about the shadow material?

During meditation, you will encounter it all.

• Embarrassing memories you wish to forget

• Toxic thoughts that you do not wish to associate with

• Traumatic experiences you have kept hidden for so long

Do not be afraid.

Do not stop your practise.

Allow it to exist.

Observe only the physical sensation.

• Does your head get hot?

• Does your forehead tense up?

• Does your stomach feel queasy?

Observe the physical reaction, but don't try to explain it.

This is how you become an outside observer.

By simply allowing it to be, you will slowly dissipate the emotional energy tied to that thought or memory.

Don't agree with it, but also don't disagree with it.

Just observe the physical sensation it brings.

Eventually, the moment will pass.

The memory will either return to the subconscious, or be eliminated entirely.

Who knows what will happen.

It is not your problem.

Continue meditating.

Allow any shadow material to surface and repeat the steps above.

Eventually, you will reach a state where there is no more material to bring up.

We call that, "Inbox Zero".

Let's talk about that in a future letter.

For now, follow the below practise to get started on your meditation journey.

How to Start Meditating: A Plan for the Week

If you don't have a meditation practise going - follow this plan.

Day 1 

I'm talking right now.

Right this instant.

Set a timer for 1 minute.

Doesn't matter where you are.

• 1 minute

• Close your eyes

• Get used to doing nothing.

Done.

Day 2

You are going to do your meditation on your bed, a chair, or against a wall.

1. Have your phone or a timer with you

2. Sit up with your back against the bed frame, chair, or wall.

3. Set a timer for 5 minutes

4. Close your eyes

5. Inhale slowly from the nose

6. Exhale slowly also from the nose

7. Repeat until the timer ends

Remember the key points I spoke about:

• Move yourself if you feel uncomfortable. Stand up, shake your legs, extend your legs, etc.

• Embrace any shadow thoughts or memories and just observe the physical sensation

The objective is for you to actually get lost and to return from it.

Don't worry if you don't return.

The timer will bring you back into reality.

Just keep meditating.

Day 3-5

Increase the time from 5 minutes to 10 minutes.

That's the only difference.

Day 5-7

Increase the time to 15 minutes.

Following this routine will be your pathway to self-calcination.

I promise you,

You will not be the same.

You will feel more lighter,

more purified,

and definitely more happy.

Keep meditating, Alchemist. I’ll see you in the next letter.

-- Lachlan